Meeting with a client this past week, I listened as she shared. Her self worth and identity had suffered overwhelming loss. Life-altering crisis, changes, separation, divorce, job loss and defeat had vaulted her into a sea of worthlessness. The rawness of her daily existence was void of a healthy foundation and secure identity. Her response to life was sarcasm and guarded walls of anger and bitterness.
I listened as she pealed back the painful chapters of life. Emerging over and over was the controlling power of words that had been spoken to her. She felt her identity had vanished into thin air. She had lost confidence and hope of her value. Words of sarcasm, teasing and sarcastic language were commonly used by family members.
This prompted me to do some research before our next session. Could it be the power of words could do such destruction to a human soul? I found the definitions of sarcasm or sarcastic language to be the following:
To mock, convey contempt, a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain. An attempt to sneer or give a cutting remark. The original Greek: sarkasein – means “to tear flesh away like a dog.”
Toxic words of sarcasm given, even in jest, have the root purpose of: the desire to control, insult and “get back” with strong revenge.
This reminded me how we can loose our identity and watch it disappear like a vapor when harsh words bite at us.
According to the Bible, Joseph knew this process. He understood loss:
** He listened as his brothers schemed of how they would tell their father he was dead.
** He listened to his brothers as they plotted to sell him as a slave while sitting at the bottom of a deep dark pit they threw him in.
** He lost 2 years of his life in prison.
** He was forgotten, betrayed and abandoned.
Yet, he refused to harbor bitterness. He had a right to be angry. He had reason to return revenge. Yet, years later the words he spoke to his brothers brought healing, restoration and undeserved mercy.
Have words … harsh words… critical words… damaged you in the past? Have you struggled to not return with revengeful sarcastic comments? Remember the power of words. They will heal or hurt.
Please know that I understand and care… And God cares. Healing and forgiveness sets us free to reclaim our worth and true identity.
And remember…
I’m Listening!
Jeanne Armentrout Coaching 
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